30 Days of Love - Day 14: Keep No Record of Wrongs

Day 14: Keep No Record of Wrongs

(Click here for Day 13)

“It (love) does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” 1 Corinthians 13:5 (NLT)

Back in the day, one of my favorite arguing tactics was recalling how the other person had hurt me in the past. The moment they said something that stung or rang a little too true, I’d bring out the big guns and let ‘er rip. It never really worked the way I hoped it would. We’d both just end up more upset and feeling raw…sort of like ripping off a scab. It didn’t do any good, and in reality, made the wound deeper.

This is why the Word tells us to forgive—to keep no record of wrongs. We’ve talked about how God forgives us immediately when we repent. He doesn’t throw it back in our faces later on. As far as He’s concerned, that sin never happened.

As far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

You could travel around the globe from now until eternity and not find it, that’s how far it’s gone! Seriously, you can’t measure that.

You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea. Micah 7:19

Please note that it doesn’t say God casts our sins into the depths of the sea, but attached to a fishing line so He can yank them back out of the depths when He needs to. Nah, God forgets it. He leaves it at the bottom of the ocean. Which brings me to my next point.

Through the Lord’s mercies we are not consumed, because His compassions fail not. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. Lamentations 3:22-23

God’s mercies are new every morning, and ours should be too. We shouldn’t treat people based on things they’ve done in the past. Yes, there may be times you have to shut the door on people in your life because of abuse or other dangers associated with the relationship. But, even in those instances, you need to watch that you don’t hold on to grudges or thoughts of revenge toward those people. 

For your everyday issues—fights with your spouse, children being disrespectful, the neighbor letting the dog poop on your lawn and not picking it up—you need to wake up in the morning and believe that you will see God’s hand at work, rather than listen to what the devil has to say about those people—he is a liar after all! You may be the one person who continues to be pleasant to that person, giving them a lifeline to grab onto instead of losing all hope.

Homework:

Have you been holding on to the past? It’s time to let it go. Jesus said in Luke 9:62, “No one, having put his hand to the plow, and looking back, is fit for the kingdom of God.” You’ve put your hand to the plow. You’ve made a determination that you’re going to change how you live your life and do things God’s way. Don’t look back. Forget the past. If you keep bringing it up, you won’t heal from it. Let it go, and keep plowing forward. Pray and release anyone who has wronged you in the past. If you’ve been guilty of throwing another person’s past in their face, apologize to them, as God leads.

30 Days of Love - Day 13: On Patience

Day 13: On Patience

(Click here for Day 12)

“Love is patient…” 1 Corinthians 13:4

Oh, we’ve all heard this line (and have probably said it too): “Whatever you do, don’t pray for patience.” It’s said with the implication that praying for patience means you’re about to get slammed with all sorts of opportunities to be impatient. But, obviously God wants us to be patient. Just like everything else, we have to practice and develop walking in this aspect of God’s love. We don’t even have to pray for God to give us patience, because it’s already been put inside our hearts (see Day 3). We just have to choose to walk in the Spirit instead of the flesh.

Now let’s talk about the world’s view of patience. The world sees patience as not losing your cool. While that’s sort of correct, the world also thinks that it’s okay to have a breaking point—that you only have to be patient till you just can’t stand for it anymore. Or, if someone blows their top at you, then it’s perfectly okay to ditch patience and let them have it! Thing is, if this is how God’s patience worked, then we’d be toast. Let’s face it—if God were as “patient” as we are, humankind would have ceased to exist long ago.

Many translations of the Bible use the word “longsuffering” instead of patience. If you’re like me, there is a tendency there to read that and think “So, patience means suffering for a long time. Ugh.” But that’s not quite right. While God’s kind of patience will hold out as long as it needs to, there’s so much more to it than just biting your tongue for a while. In the Greek, the word means, “to be of a long spirit,” “to persevere patiently in enduring misfortunes and troubles,” and “to be mild and slow in avenging.”

This adds such a different color to the word “patience” doesn’t it? For me, it adds a layer of gutsiness. (Is that a word? Google says yes.)

Friend, let me tell you that you can feel as upset and as hurt as anyone can feel and still yield to patience. You can be a microsecond away from yelling at the top of your lungs and yet still decide to follow that patience dwelling in your heart.

Let’s look at some other Scriptures on God’s patience. As you read, realize that we magnify, appreciate, and praise God for being as merciful and full of love for us as He is, but yet the world has convinced us that it’s being a “pushover” or “naïve” when humans act this way. So, let’s get a different mindset here.

But You, O Lord, are a God full of compassion, and gracious, longsuffering and abundant in mercy and truth. Psalm 86:15

God is full of compassion, graciousness, longsuffering, and abundant in mercy and truth. What a mouthful, and what a big God. Wow. That’s who’s living inside of you!

The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in mercy. Psalm 103:8

This one adds in the fact that God is slow to anger, which reminds me of another verse in the book of James:

So then, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath… James 1:19

Just like anything, the more you practice the patience God has placed in your heart, the easier and more “second nature” it will become. Yelling and crying and screaming and getting offended were all of the actions you learned before, and it will take time for God’s way to become the norm.

Homework:

Read more about God’s patience by searching your concordance for “patient” and “patience.”

30 Days of Love - Day 12: What to Do When You Just Want to Spaz - Part Two

Day 12: What to Do When You Just Want to Spaz - Part Two

(Click here for Day 11)

“Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” 1 Peter 5:6-8

When your flesh is being loud, if you’ll examine the thoughts hammering your brain, you’ll always find that they’re rooted in worry, fear, or anxiety of some sort. These things will thwart God’s work in your life if you allow them to continue, and that’s why there are hundreds of Scriptures telling God’s people to “fear not.” It’s not a pep talk—it’s a command!

Look back at 1 Peter 5:6, and notice how it says to humble yourself under the mighty hand of God. When fear comes in, its goal is to get you into unbelief—to displace your trust in God. But if you’ll humble yourself (by submitting yourself to God) and cast those cares upon Him, then you’re saying, “Yeah, it kind of looks bad right now, but I’ve cast the care of it on my Father, because I know He cares about me, and He’s gonna handle it!” By refusing to allow your faith in God’s Word to be shaken, you’re removing yourself as a candidate to be “devoured.”

What’s really cool here is that in the book of Philippians, we’re given the steps to casting our cares upon the Lord:

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7

Step one: Be anxious for nothing. Nothing! Don’t worry about anything—at all!

Step two: Rather than worry, pray! You have a mighty big God who loves you like crazy! Go to Him and ask Him for what you need. Go boldly before your Father as the Word says you can (Hebrews 4:16).

Step three: Give thanks while you do all of that. Things may seem awful right now, but there’s plenty to thank God for—including His answer to your prayers (even if you don’t physically see His answer yet—trust Him, and count it as done!). He’s so undeniably good to us, there’s always something to praise Him for, even if it’s for the simple fact that you’re still breathing.

Step four: Receive His peace. You don’t have to understand how it happens; you just believe it’s yours because His Word says so. It will protect your heart and your mind. Thank Him for it out loud! If the fear or worry tries to come back, you just say “Nope. That’s not my care anymore. I gave it to the Lord. You’ll have to talk to Him about it.”

God always has a plan to deliver His children out of trouble. If you've read about all of the amazing things He did for Israel to get them out of Egypt, you know there’s nothing too hard for him. If you’ve read about that, then you’ve probably read about how the Israelites freaked out time and time again when they were faced with problems. It got to the point where that first generation out of Egypt didn’t get to go to the Promised Land because they refused to give up their worry and fear and trust that what God had said would come to pass. Let’s not be like that!

Homework:

Go read Numbers 13 and 14:1-10. Pay close attention to the two groups of people: those who drew back in fear over the giants in the land of Canaan, and those who were confident that because God said the land would be theirs, it was theirs. Decide that you want to be like the latter!

If you want to be a star student (and you know you do): start searching your Bible to find all of the “fear nots.” 

30 Days of Love - Day 11: What to Do When You Just Want to Spaz - Part One

Day 11: What to Do When You Just Want to Spaz - Part One

(Click here for Day 10)

“I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh.” Galatians 5:16

Our flesh (mind, will, and emotions) can get pretty loud. It likes to get all spun up over the tiniest of things! If you’ve ever gotten mad about a sock on the floor, or been the one who left the sock on the floor, you know it happens. Usually, it’s not about the sock at all. Whoever is the one getting upset has probably been letting frustration and anger build up over lots of little things for quite some time. When you let things build up, eventually, you’re going to blow. You have to learn to deal with the frustrations of life in a healthy and godly way.

When your flesh is yelling so loudly you can’t hear God, you’re in dangerous territory. These are the times when the word “divorce” gets thrown around, rifts are created between friends, and all sorts of other evil things are given room to move. Obviously, we don’t really want these things, but as it says in Proverbs 17:14, “The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts.” One tiny moment of letting yourself go can cause a chain reaction of turmoil in your life.

When you’re that upset, no one needs to hear a “thing or two” or any other “piece of your mind.” It’ll only cause more damage. When your mind is a basketful of tangled thoughts and emotions, what do you do? First of all, give yourself time to calm down. Once you're more at peace, you will be able to receive direction from the Lord. Getting yourself in a calm place can be a challenge, so read on for some practical stuff.

Things to do when your flesh is screaming (instead of taking it out on other people):

• Get in a room by yourself. Go ahead and cry if you think it will help, but then get yourself back up off of that bed, look yourself in the mirror and start talking the Word! You can say things like Philippians 4:13 and 1 John 4:4. Wash your face. It helps.
• Call a godly friend. Preferably someone with a known ability to resist coddling you, and who will give you the truth of the Word. Someone who’s not afraid to give you a proverbial kick in the butt, if need be.
• Put on some worship music. The Bible says that the joy of the Lord is your strength (Nehemiah 8:10), and that it’s in His presence you’ll find fullness of joy (Psalm 16:11), so put on some music and get in His presence! Stay there until the nastiness has melted away.
• Thank God. Snap out of the negativity and turn your focus to the good things God has done, and will do, for you!

It’s going to take effort to make the right choice when you’re steaming mad, but I know you can do it!

Homework:

Do you have someone you can call when you need godly advice—someone who won’t be afraid to speak the truth to you when you need it? If so, thank God for it! If not, ask the Lord to send you one! 

30 Days of Love - Day 10: Make a Decision to Do What the Word Says

Day 10: Make a Decision to Do What the Word Says

(Click here for Day 9)

“Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock.” Matthew 7:24-25

In order to get God’s results, we have to do things God’s way. It will really help you in your Christian walk if you decide from the start that whatever the Word says goes in your life. You have to make a decision that you will no longer try to adapt the Word to your lifestyle, but to adapt your lifestyle to the Word! Then, once you read something in the Bible, even if your flesh isn’t enjoying it, inside you’re committed to making whatever change the Holy Spirit is leading you to make. It may not exactly feel like it, but in your heart, you’re already on it. You’re already looking to change, to make corrections that will put your actions in line with the Word of God.

What’s awesome about living your life according to the Word is that Jesus said that no matter what comes along in life, you will not fall (see the verse above).

On the other hand, Jesus followed up his statement on those who do the Word with how things will go for those who don’t do the Word:

But everyone who hears these sayings of Mine, and does not do them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it fell. And great was its fall. Matthew 7:26-27

Please note here that both people heard the Word. The key difference is that this one didn’t do what He said. Remember our Scripture from yesterday’s devotion? It said that if we don’t do the Word, we end up deceived. If you’re reading this right now, I think it’s safe to say you don’t actually want to be deceived. Well, if you keep yourself open and ready to act when God gives you direction, then you won’t end up deceived. No, you’re giving God all He needs to deliver you from deception.

If you don’t know what the Word says about your situation, find out! Or maybe you know what the Word says, but you’re not sure what to do with it. Ask God for wisdom! I’ve had this go on multiple times in my life (you can click here for an example), and He has always been faithful to do what He said He would. If He does it for me, He’ll do it for you.

Homework:

Pray this prayer: “Father, I love You. I want to show You my love for You by doing what You say. I make a decision right now to adapt my lifestyle to Your Word. I know that Your ways and Your plan are good and perfect. Your ways are now my ways.”

Read Matthew 7:24-29 and Luke 6:46-49.

30 Days of Love - Day 9: Don’t Just Say It, Do It!

Day 9: Don’t Just Say It, Do It!

(Click here for Day 8)

“But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.” James 1:22

Have you ever had someone declare how much they love you, but their actions were constantly telling you otherwise? I know in my marriage, and in my relationship with my daughter, I’ve always made a point to tell them both that I love them frequently. However, it took me far too long to realize that the way I was treating them was giving them a different impression. That was rough on me, but I had to confront it in order to grow. It’s perfectly good to tell someone you love them, but it’s meaningless without actions to prove it. I don’t want to live a pointless life for the sake of my pride; how about you?

Here's another example from my own life:

Once upon a time, someone told me that they felt they couldn’t get near me, that I wouldn’t let them get close. I was stunned. My brain struggled to wrap itself around the words I was hearing. I thought I was such a loving person, and that someone should be patting me on the back right now. Instead of really listening to this person’s open and honest feelings, I tried to offer up all kinds of excuses and ways to blame them. (Please don’t do that. It doesn’t help!)

What really irked me was that in the middle of arguing, it started to dawn on me that they were right. As my emotions cooled down, the Holy Spirit began gently showing me examples of just how right they were. Again, I was so mortified. In my heart, this was not the way I wanted things to be. I wanted them to know how much I truly did love them and how much I valued them. But I hadn’t been acting on what was in my heart. I had been acting on emotional impulses, and those actions had been telling a whole different story.

Just like I had to change at that moment, you’ll have moments, quite possibly many of them (I still have them), where you’re put face-to-face with some ugly parts of yourself. You have to decide whether you want to keep clinging to them or just go ahead and give in to the Holy Spirit and do what the Word says. Only one of those paths will lead you to good stuff!

Tomorrow we’ll talk more about the power of choosing to do what the Word says.

Homework:

It’s not always easy to face our shortcomings. But, God doesn’t reveal them to us so we can feel guilty. He shows us so that we (and the people we're around on a regular basis) can live the good life (John 10:10). Where have you been missing it in your love walk lately? Repent and ask God what you should do to make it right. 

30 Days of Love - Day 8: What to Do When You Mess Up – Part Two

Day 8: What to Do When You Mess Up – Part Two

(Click here for Day 7)

“If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18

Yesterday you learned that you don’t need to mope around feeling sorry for yourself when you sin—that once you repent, God forgives. But what about the people involved in your mess ups?

Although there are plenty of times when everyone agrees that all is forgiven and it’s time to go on with life, many times wounds are inflicted that cause rifts in relationships that aren’t as easily healed. God forgives immediately. People? Not so much.

If you need to make amends with people who’ve been hurt by your words or actions, then you should seek to do so as soon as possible. Before you head off to the phone or to write that letter, pray about it. Ask the Lord to give you the right words and any other wisdom you might need from Him. He might even direct you to hold off for now.

Know beforehand that the other person may not receive your apology. They may respond in a very cruel way. If that happens, keep your cool. You’re only responsible for your actions—not theirs. Remember, the verse says “as much as depends on you.” Remain calm and do what God has directed you to do. A harsh response from the other person doesn’t mean all is lost. Keep praying for them. God can turn it around.

Does that all make sense? Okay, good. Let’s move on.

Sometimes God will want you to make amends, even if you did absolutely nothing wrong. Maybe someone thinks you’re mad at them because you haven’t called in a while, or you didn’t take them to lunch, but took your other friend. People seem to have a way of assuming all kinds of stuff that isn’t true (cough, cough). 

When the Holy Spirit points out to you that something needs to be dealt with, deal with it! While you’re at it, don’t let your flesh say a word. If you let it, what started as a minor misunderstanding could turn into a major blowout.

The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts. Proverbs 17:14

It is honorable for a man to stop striving, since any fool can start a quarrel. Proverbs 20:3

I like how the New Living Translation puts that last one:

Avoiding a fight is a mark of honor; only fools insist on quarreling. Proverbs 20:3 (NLT)

Homework:

Is there anyone you can think of who has been hurt by your actions or words? If no one comes to mind, take some time to pray and ask your Father if there’s anyone you need to make amends to. Ask Him to show you how to get it done. Don’t procrastinate in getting it handled. Get it done when God says to! Remember, God’s love shows the world we are His disciples, and reconciling with those you’ve hurt will be the first sign for those people that things are different for you now. Keep on walking it out, and rather than being cold toward you, you might find them wanting to hang around!