30 Days of Love - Day 7: What to Do When You Mess Up – Part One

Day 7: What to Do When You Mess Up – Part One

(Click here for Day 6)

“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins.” Isaiah 43:25

There comes a time in ever believer’s life when they’re going along just fine, and then an all-out flesh-out happens. If you don’t know what I mean by “all-out flesh-out,” well, it can mean a lot of different things. For me, it usually starts with a bunch of whiny, negative thoughts that I decide to entertain for a while (big mistake)—long enough for them to start coming out of my mouth. All of the sudden, everyone (except myself, naturally) is a selfish poop head, and I start fuming about why do I always have to behave perfectly when everyone else doesn’t bother? Throw some tissues and housework getting done very loudly into the mix, and you have my version of the all-out flesh-out.

I’ve gotten better! Promise! *cough*

If you can relate to any of that, realize you’re not alone. Nothing you go through, no temptation you face, is specific to you alone. Everyone has triggers and issues. If you didn’t, then you probably wouldn’t have any need to read a book about walking in love.

Don’t think for a minute that messing up means failure. Failure only comes if you quit. So, when you mess up, get up, dust yourself off, turn yourself around, and get back to it.

Homewo—

What’s that? You want to know if God is mad at you? In today’s verse you can see that God said He wouldn’t remember your sins anymore, but here’s more proof from the New Testament:

If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. 1 John 1:9

Once we repent, God forgives. It’s just that we’ve been trained to feel guilty—that if we don’t suffer guilt over our mistakes long enough we’re not really repentant or sorry. We feel we have to do some hard time wallowing in misery to show we’re really sorry.

Let me ask you, if God immediately forgives us, who are we to spend another moment letting the devil beat us over the head with it? Think with me about this for a moment here. As long as you’re wallowing in guilt, you’re not walking out God’s call on your life. So not only is the devil enjoying the fact that you slipped up, you’re giving him icing on the cake by sitting around moping about it.

I know it’s not always easy—but quit it! Get out your Bible and start talking about who God says you are. God doesn’t call you a low-life, good-for-nothing loser. So don’t call yourself names either. Repent, and move on. When the devil persists in attacking your mind with defeatist thoughts, you snap to attention, flip open your Bible to 1 John 1:9, and proclaim, “I am forgiven, and I am cleansed from all unrighteousness!”

Homework:

Go to the back of your Bible, use a concordance, or search online for Bible verses about mercy, grace, forgiveness, and God’s love. Take note of any that seem to jump out at you. (Maybe you could be brave and share some of them with is in the comments section!)

30 Days of Love - Day 6: Love Covers

Day 6: Love Covers

(Click here for Day 5)

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all sins.” Proverbs 10:12

Today let’s talk about gossip. We’ve all probably both spread gossip (if you haven’t, good for you) and been a victim of it. You just had to tell someone about the latest juicy scandalous thing Mary did the other day. Or maybe you wanted to vent to your mother about what your horrible, horrible husband said to you the other day. And can you even believe what cousin Greta did with that boy from the grocery store? (I don’t have a cousin named Greta. I needed a name, and it came up first.)

Do I have to even tell you that all of this is wrong? By now, probably not, but I’m going to dig a little deeper into the above examples anyway so you can get a real-life understanding of how to apply the “love covers all sins” part of Scripture.

Before I do that, I want you to think about covering things. If you cover yourself with a blanket, you’re keeping yourself warm. If you cover a dish, you might be trying to keep it from getting cold, or protecting it from bugs. You cover a skinned knee with bandages to protect the wound from getting infected. Coverings are meant to protect. Remember that as you read on.

Let’s take the first example. You heard that your neighbor Mary was caught with another man last Wednesday when her husband came home from work early. While word is going to spread like wildfire no matter what, you don’t have to play a role in it. Instead of using Mary’s self-made predicament to make you feel better about yourself, realize that gossip is a sin too. Look back at the verse above, and then read this gem from Proverbs:

A talebearer reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter. Proverbs 11:13

A talebearer, or gossip, reveals secrets while one who is of a faithful spirit conceals, or covers, them. As someone who has been the victim of gossip (and, unfortunately, done my share of circulating it), I can testify to how awesome and comforting it is to have friends you can trust—people who won’t go running off and telling others what you shared with them in what you thought was confidence.

Instead of causing more harm, we need to stop relaying gossip and pray. While we’re praying, maybe we could even ask the Lord if there’s something we can do to be a blessing to Mary. Even though Mary made her own bed, so to speak, love will see no need to make things worse. It’s usually in those moments when a person has screwed up pretty badly that they most need someone to say “Hey, yeah, you messed up. But there’s still hope.” They need someone to believe in them.

The Bible also says that love doesn’t rejoice in evil (1 Corinthians 13:6), and gossip carries with it a twisted form of joy. It’s like a tasty little treat that the repeater and the hearer enjoy together. Since we’re walking in God’s love now, we need to stop this sort of “rejoicing in evil.” Gossiping isn’t a “no fault” action—remember, you reap what you sow.

The words of a talebearer are like tasty trifles, and they go down into the inmost body. Proverbs 18:8

Here’s how the Message Bible puts it:

“Listening to gossip is like eating cheap candy; do you really want junk like that in your belly?”

On to the whining wife (I just winced…I’ve done my share of whining). I used to call everyone and anyone who would listen and spout off about how miserable my life was. I wanted attention. I wanted sympathy. I wanted someone to tell me that I was entirely right, and that my husband was entirely wrong. I didn’t care that I was giving everyone I spoke with a negative view of him. I didn’t care that I was widening the chasm in my relationship with him with every phone call. (Nor did I realize that the way I was behaving was far worse than any slight I imagined from him!)

Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. James 3:10

Love covers. It doesn’t run off at the mouth and tell everyone how bad someone else is. Love doesn’t selfishly try to prove it’s right and someone else is wrong. Love speaks life and blessing (see Proverbs 18:21), even when things aren’t so hot, while it waits for God’s Word to do its work.

Homework:

Read Proverbs 26:20-22, 2 Timothy 3:1-5, James 3:1-12, and Ephesians 4:31-32. 

Repent for gossiping, if you need to. The next time you’re tempted to gossip, don’t! If someone else starts to gossip in your presence, either veer the conversation away from it, or let the other person know—politely—you’re working on not gossiping and would like to talk about something else. It’s okay to be honest!

30 Days of Love - Day 5: God Will Show You How to Love

Day 5: God Will Show You How to Love

(Click here for Day 4)

“If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking.” James 1:5 (NLT)

One of the most important things I’ve learned about walking in love is that it means different things to different people. How God leads me to walk in love toward the people in my life may be different than how God leads you to walk in love toward the people in your life. God knows what will reach them, and it’s not going to be the same thing for every person.

For example, giving some people a bouquet of flowers would be an appreciated gesture. For others, they may not be able to get beyond the thought that those flowers will just die in a couple of days. They might wish you’d given them some cash instead, so they could pick up some extra groceries for their family.

What’s awesome is that we don’t have to guess. If we ask God to show us how to love someone, He will. Since Jesus commanded us to love one another the way He loves us, of course He’s going to show us how to do it!

For each person in your life, especially the ones that you seem to have the most strained relationships with, ask the Lord to show you how to love them. (Remember, God’s love isn’t about feelings, so while you do what God directs you to do, you may not feel so emotionally hot about it.) If you think that a certain someone in your life is just too hard of a nut to crack, remember that you have a mighty big God, and nothing is too hard for Him (Jeremiah 32:27).

Also, be wary of not acting on God’s direction because it doesn’t make sense (remember what I said yesterday about seemingly little things having a big impact). Maybe He’ll give you a “first step” of taking someone out for a cup of coffee. Or maybe He’ll tell you to send a handwritten letter to someone when you could just email them instead. Trust that God knows what He’s doing, and do whatever He says (John 2:5).

Homework:

God wants to give His wisdom to us, but we have to be open to it. If you’ve been feeling at a loss about what steps to take next, ask Him to show you! Write down what He tells you, and act on it.

30 Days of Love - Day 4: Sowing and Reaping

Day 4: Sowing and Reaping

(Click here for Day 3)

“Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” Galatians 6:7

If you wanted to grow some fresh oregano, what would you do? You’d plant some oregano seeds! When those oregano seeds were fully grown, you wouldn’t be picking any tomatoes, basil, or roses—you’d be picking oregano. You wouldn’t be surprised to see the oregano either—you’d expect to see the oregano after planting oregano seeds!

Scripture makes it very clear that what we sow (plant) in life, we will also reap (harvest). Just like you would expect oregano to grow from oregano seeds, you should expect impatience to grow from the seeds of impatience you’ve been planting.

One of the things the Lord taught me early on was that if I sowed love into others, I would reap a harvest of love. Until that point, I had been mostly planting discontent, pride, bitterness, rudeness, selfishness…and boy, had I been reaping that harvest.

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you. This is the essence of all that is taught in the law and the prophets. Matthew 7:12 (NLT)

If you’ve been feeling like people aren’t there for you when you need them, or they aren’t very patient with you, start examining your own behavior. Are you often short-tempered with people? Do you take time out of your busy day to do good to someone else, or do you blow it off because you’re just “too busy” and they should “learn how to help themselves”? Maybe you don’t even need to think very long before you can come up with areas where you’ve been sowing in negative ways.

Start sowing God’s love! As we’ve already seen, God’s love is so different. It doesn’t give up, it’s not self-centered—it gives, and gives, and gives some more! God has sown His love into our hearts, and look at the harvest He’s reaping in all of us! Not only that, but He’s given us a chance to get in on the action.

I remember one incident where I had a choice to do something nice, at a moment that was inconvenient, for someone who didn’t seem to have a care in the world about what I’d like to do, or doing nice little things for me. I was about to grouse and refuse, but the Holy Spirit jumped up inside: “You reap what you sow.” I got up and did what I needed to do.

Believe me, my brain and my emotions argued with me about it, but I was serious about doing things God’s way, and that meant obeying the direction He gave me at that moment. Looking back, I believe that decision was a turning point in my relationship with that person, and it was just a tiny, tiny thing He asked me to do. Don’t let the devil trick you into thinking small things can’t make a huge impact.

I’m sure by now the Holy Spirit has pinpointed something about the way you’ve been sowing. If so, you can deal with it right now by praying something like this (if not, then ask Him to show you):

“Father, forgive me for behaving that way and not walking in love. I ask you to tear up those crops of (jealousy, hate, unforgiveness, pride—whatever it is) and show me how to sow love into other people’s lives. I am serious about doing things Your way, and I thank You for helping me to continue growing in You.”

God’s love benefits everyone. The people in your life will be blessed, and you will be blessed. It’s a win-win kind of thing. 

Homework:

Pray the prayer I wrote above. While you’re at it, take the time to forgive anyone you’ve been holding grudges against, and ask the Lord to bless those people. Take it a step further and ask Him if there’s anything else you can do to sow His love into their lives.

Keepin' It Real - 30 Days of Love Edition

Just wanted to send a little shoutout to readers out there: don't give up or get frustrated!

Yesterday, I got miffy with my daughter, and believe me, she knew it.

Today, I've struggled for most of the afternoon to not flip my lid.

Breathe! Relax! Just repent, forgive anyone who's been a butthead to ya today, and know I love you.

And go watch a funny video! ;D

30 Days of Love - Day 3: You Can Love the Way God Loves

Day 3: You Can Love the Way God Loves

(Click here for Day 2)

“Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God's love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.“ Romans 5:5 (AMPC)

It may seem impossible to love others the way God loves them, but I’m here to tell you that’s a lie. The Scripture above shows us that God’s love has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. If you’re a believer, then you have the Holy Spirit living inside of you, since your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit.

Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? 1 Corinthians 6:19

Now, understand that since the Holy Spirit resides in you, everything God is resides in you too (the Holy Spirit is God, right?). God’s love is in you, you just have to make the choice to act on it. So don’t allow yourself to accept such thoughts as “Oh, it’s just too hard to love them. I can’t do it!” It’s not that you can’t, it’s that you’ve chosen not to in the past, and that’s how you’re used to reacting. But now you’re learning a better way (1 Corinthians 12:31).

For you, brethren, have been called to liberty; only do not use liberty as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” But if you bite and devour one another, beware lest you be consumed by one another! I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16

It’s really important for you to remember that you are more than just a physical body (go back to the Introduction if you’re not sure what I mean). It’s your flesh that wants to “bite and devour” others and get payback. But inside, the Holy Spirit will nudge you to forgive, to be kind to them, and to resist behaving rudely. It’s up to you to choose which prompt you will follow.

Jesus wouldn’t have commanded us to love without giving us the power to obey it, and God did just that when He poured His love into your heart. You can do it!

Homework:

At the end of Day 1, I had you read 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 and say “God” wherever you saw “love.” Today I want you to replace “love” with the word “I” like this: “I am patient… I am kind…” and so on.

If it bugs you somehow to read it that way, then go back and reread the Scriptures you’ve seen in today’s devotion. It is God’s will for you to walk in His love, so He has no problem with you tapping into that by speaking His Word over your life.

30 Days of Love - Day 2: Love – How People Know You’re the Real Deal

Day 2: Love – How People Know We’re the Real Deal

Did you miss day 1? Click here!

“By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:35

How do you know what a disciple of Jesus looks like? Can you tell by how much they go to church? Can you tell by the clothes they wear? Can you tell by how much they give to charity? If you think you can spot a disciple of Jesus by these things, then you’re looking at the wrong stuff.

Jesus knew the one thing that would let people know we were His disciples, and He let us know what that one thing is in John 13:35. He said that others would know we’re really His disciples by our love for one another. Not by the amount of time we spend in prayer, how much we read our Bibles, or by how faithful we are to attend church—but by our love.

Think about what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 13:1-3. He said that he could do all sorts of excellent things like giving away all of his money, and having faith enough to move mountains, but added that if he didn’t have love, it was all useless. When our actions aren’t based in love, we’re off the mark.

Jesus said similar things:

And when you pray, you shall not be like the hypocrites. For they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the corners of the streets, that they may be seen by men. Assuredly, I say to you, they have their reward. Matthew 6:5

Therefore whatever they tell you to observe, that observe and do, but do not do according to their works; for they say, and do not do. For they bind heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on men’s shoulders; but they themselves will not move them with one of their fingers. But all their works they do to be seen by men. Matthew 23:3-5

How many times have you heard a non-believer say that they won’t go to church (or whatever) because Christians are just a bunch of hypocrites? It’s because they’ve heard Christians saying one thing, and then doing another. They hear us quote 1 Corinthians 13 and John 3:16, but then they see us behaving rudely, gossiping, and otherwise acting like jerks. Instead of seeing the power of God operating in our lives because we’re obedient to the Word, they get the idea that it’s just another religion—a pointless, rigid, bondage-filled religion. We shouldn’t be surprised that they don’t want it.

It’s time to repent and get it right! It’s time to make them hungry for what we have, rather than turn their stomachs.

I know, it’s not easy to see the stark truth—but guess what? It’s knowing the truth that sets you free (John 8:32). Repent, ask God where He wants you to start with your “love walk,” and get goin’!

Homework:

Ask the Father to give you wisdom on how to live your life in such a way that it makes other people curious—that makes them hungry for whatever it is you’ve got. Write down whatever wisdom He gives you, and act on it. Read over some sections of the Gospels and pay close attention to how Jesus dealt with people.